I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m starting to become more aware that my time to become a parent is drawing closer… It’s a stage in my life I would like to experience, and much like mortality, I am starting to notice parenthood all around me. Because of this, I’ve started to watch the way a parent interacts with their child/children.
The other day I witnessed a little boy hit another kid and upon seeing this, his mother very calmly pulled him aside and reprimanded him, she told him it was wrong and instructed him to apologise to the other little boy, after the scolding the little boy did just as his mother had told him, and as kids do, they forgave and forgot and carried on playing together.
It was a really interesting thing to watch because I have seen some really naughty kids in my time and I can only count a few where I have seen a parent, parent their child when they have been bad. I wish I could say that I applaud the parent and child, but it would be wrong for me to do so. It’s wrong because that is what is expected and should happen, as a parent you should be parenting your child.
Nowadays, it’s more common to see unruly kids who act up in the presence of their parents and for the parents to turn a blind eye and even in some cases, encourage bad behaviour!
It’s so sad that there are so many kids out there who don’t have the privilege of being raised by their parents who are too busy with careers and their own lives to parent their kids. This isn’t me judging parents because I understand that the world we live in now, is so much tougher than it was back in the baby boomers age. Some parents unfortunately have to make a choice between raising their kids themselves but having to live on one pay cheque or even half of one, or continue to work and have someone else raise their kids but be able to provide more for the family, it’s tough and it’s a choice people shouldn’t have to make.
Despite having to be away from your kids, you are still able to ‘parent’ them, because for as long as your kids are watching you, they are learning from you. All your bad habits become an example to impressionable kids and they pick up on the qualities you yourself may not like. So if you’re rude to a waitress/waiter, or you’re constantly late to events, your kids are going to see this as an okay behaviour.
Imagine your kids as reflections of you, when they’re young, they don’t understand the difference between right and wrong, they’re going to take you, your words and your actions as their gospel and mimic you, not everything you do, but a great big chunk of what they see in you is what they will take out into the real world. Who really knows what they’ll pick up on? That’s why you have to be careful what they catch or even feel you doing, do you really want that certain behaviour to be copied by your child in public?
That’s why it’s so important to be good, graceful and kind in front of your kids (and it’s good practice to exhibit those good behaviours out of children’s sight too!)
At some point you’re going to have to let your kids fly free and you have to trust that the wisdom you’ve imparted onto them are the right ones, because your kids will struggle to function in a good society if they themselves are not able to act in an orderly way.
The thought that I may raise hell raisers someday scares me. But I am patiently watching those around me raise their kids and pick up on certain lessons that may come in handy when I have my own ‘students’ to teach.
I want to raise my sons to never raise their hand to anyone, and my daughters to be peaceful and loving. I’m going to teach my sons and daughters how to win or loose gracefully, how to be gentle and nurturing, how to respect everyone, and be anything they want to be, never to be afraid of what other people may think because it’s important to believe in themselves.
Whether you work full time, part time in a career or at home, it’s so important to always make time to watch your children grow, to make time to teach them the way of life but also to help guide them into making their own conclusions and opinions. It’s important to allow your children to have the space to feel independent but to provide that safety in knowing that they can always come to you for help.
It’s important for parents to parent their children because no one will do a better job at moulding them into good additions to a great society other than those who wanted them most in this world.
A little patience, guidance and support can go a long way in a child’s development. Someday your kid may grow up to make a huge impact in this world, wouldn’t it be nice to know you did all you could to help instil in them that power and greatness?
The children are our future, and for every child born in this world, is another hope of us creating a beautiful and loving world. Everyone deserves a chance in this life, and that chance begins by being a parent to your child.
Do something to make your parents proud today, your kids proud someday, and you proud everyday!
Peace and Love,