WHY WEDNESDAYS: Why it’s okay to end a friendship. *PLEASE DON’T READ IF YOU’RE EASILY OFFENDED*

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We all have that one friendship; difficult, full of trials but every time you overcome it together and end up stronger as friends because of it.

Life is difficult and sometimes it’s hard to establish the difference between your friends and your enemies, there have been times when I discovered too late. Just like this, it’s also hard to know when to keep fighting for your friendship or when to let go.

I’m here to tell you today, it’s okay to end a friendship.

The truth of the matter is, sometimes you outgrow people. It’s a normal part of life. When two people change over the course of time, you’re bound to find yourself changing the way you perceive the world, your likes and dislikes, and the things you once shared with your friends may not remain. Some people choose to move on from the friendship whilst others remain in the friendship, whether it’s for the familiarity or if the friendship is still very important to them. There is a potential problem that may arise if you maintain a difficult friendship, much like a bad relationship with the wrong person, a bad friendship can serve as a hindrance much more than a motivation for your own self-development.

So when you find yourself in this situation, think long and hard as to whether or not you save your friendship or ditch it like a sinking ship.

I myself faced this situation last year.

I had a best friend who I had seen my childhood, teenage years through with, and until recently she was a big part of my life. Our long-term friendship had suffered many turbulent times but despite it all we fought to save our very special bond. A lot of hurt went through and I convinced myself each time that it was worth it because she was my best friend and I couldn’t imagine life without her. Heck I’d been through many boyfriends and she lasted longer than any of them. She was my true soul mate. Once upon a time she was my go to person for everything, there wasn’t another person I would endure even half the things I did for her, I was convinced we’d grow old together.

If we were guys we’d totally be bromancing. She embodied everything I wanted in a friend; at least she did when we were kids. I guess it just took me a lot longer to realise we were no longer kids and the bond that stuck us together when we were younger were now suffocating me to death.

I mean that in the nicest way. Because even now I love her like a sister, but in this life you choose your friends, and by choosing her it would mean I wouldn’t be able to grow as a person and move forward with my life.

Let’s call her, April.

I met April in the summer of 2004. She was my very best friend right from the start. We instantly clicked, people thought we wouldn’t because we were polar opposites, but I guess from this, opposites attract so it only made sense that we would grow close.

We bonded over our love of having adventures, popcorn and laughing. We were both smart, but not life smart, we were naïve, and we were so innocent. That summer we were inseparable and looked forward to our future adventures and growing up together.

Back then it all seemed so simple, we’d spend days and nights hanging out, no responsibilities, just being carefree and never promising anything.

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Then in our teenage years, boys happened. The one thing I always appreciated in my friendship with April was the fact that our taste in boys was so different that it meant we never fought over boys, but that doesn’t mean we never fought about boys though. Sure we liked different guys, which made things for our friendship so much easier in one sense, but in other sense not. We both saw the flaws about the boys each of us dated and we were both romantics, which meant every time we liked a guy, we would fall in love and fall hard! But the thing is when you’re so close to someone you automatically become protective over them, and if any of us dated an asshole, the other would make that clear and sometimes that caused us some problems. At one point I even nicknamed her the relationship killer because within 1 week of her meeting any potential boyfriend of mine, the ‘would be’ relationship would end. And as for April? Well she was much more cautious than me, so at that age, you could count the number of guys she was dating with your hands.

If you thought things on her side would be simple then you would be much mistaken, because the 1 guy she dated caused everyone much more problems than 10 guys I had dated. That is no exaggeration.

I don’t want to go into detail about what happened between her and this guy, it’s not my story to tell, whilst that doesn’t normally stop me, this particular time, I would rather you just imagine whatever you want to think and as long as it fits in with the story I will tell you now, then it’s fine by me.

So this guy she was dating caused a lot of concerns for the girls in our group. There was only 1 way I could describe him. A sleaze ball.

He did bizarre and creepy things that none of us felt safe around him. He had rubbed up each of us girls the wrong way at one point or another. Mhissy, well, whenever she was out at the same time as him, he’d find her at a club and would often encourage her to get very drunk and try to hit on her. Yasmine, had at one point had to push him away aggressively as he tried to force himself on her. Ava had once woken up to find him in her bed trying to touch her inappropriately, and finally, once I had answered the door to him, hammered at 12pm and he had asked me to go to Lunch with him, I refused to and as I went to walk up the stairs he grabbed my foot and pulled me down towards the door, when I got upset he tried to pass it off as a joke and acted like I was being dramatic. All of this happened whilst he was dating April.

At first we kept his dubious behaviour a secret from her, but after the incident with Ava we couldn’t hide it from her any longer. She needed to know her boyfriend was a creep and that we were all afraid of him. Trying to form a supportive front for her, we told her the truth. She didn’t believe us. It wasn’t the reaction we had hoped for but we knew it would happen. Even so, we tried to convince her to stop seeing him, she refused, so in the end we decided we were going to no longer support the relationship but be there for her when it eventually went bad.

It wouldn’t take long for this to happen but meanwhile… we no longer felt any reason to pretend to like him, if ever he was at the same place as us, we’d ignore him or only reply to him with short blunt answers. This made April mad at us but we knew she wouldn’t reject us completely so we didn’t take notice of it. Eventually we started to see less and less of April. A big resentment started to grow inside me. April was never the type to ditch her friends and her first mature boyfriend comes along and she forgets us. I was annoyed that she was so easily led to ditch everyone who were always there for her.

Then a few weeks later, the relationship ended very dramatically.

She was left heartbroken and we were left picking up the pieces he had so selfishly left behind. It was a really tough time, watching her hurt the way she did. The girls and I tried so hard to be there for her, even if it meant our studying or social life suffered. It was such a small price to pay to help our friend in need. When we first saw each other again after the break up we hugged each other and cried. My heart hurt for her and there was nothing I could say to make it better so instead I shared her pain. I was stupid enough and desperate enough that I believed I could try to take some of the pain from her so that she would hurt less. We sat in each others arms crying until our eyes were raw. Our friendship group wanted to protect her from this world, we wanted so badly to make it better for her, but life as we knew it no longer existed and we were going to have to deal with the aftermath of so much pain.

Then one night during a heart to heart, April said something that hurt me to my core.

“If you had been nicer to him then he wouldn’t have hurt me.”

I think our friendship changed forever after that statement, though the damage of it didn’t materialise until much later.

A part of me began to distance myself from her, but we were still very close. After him, we continued our lives, we grew up a little more, we had a few more boyfriends, I experienced my first boyfriend, my first time, my first heartbreak all with April beside me, my number 1 cheerleader, my biggest supporter and best friend. She really helped me through some tough times, when I first developed really obvious signs of anxiety, when my depression resurfaced. April indulged in some of my favourite bad habits; I in turn developed a passion for learning languages like her, as well as watching Korean dramas. We both went through the phase of having bangs, dying our hair ginger and getting conned by street vendors.

We were creating timeless memories just by simply existing together. We faced the stresses of GCSE’s, A Levels and other problems you face as a teenager in the UK.

At this point she was with her second serious boyfriend. They were together for a few years and as young foolish kids we were convinced she would end up marrying him. I was close to him too so I thought he was the perfect boyfriend.

Then his Dad died.

She had to go through the difficulty of helping him grieve whilst grieving herself over the things that happened with the first boyfriend.

She still carried so much of the past that she was sometimes blind to what was happening in front of her. April used to be such a strong person in my eyes but over the years things had taken it’s toll. She put on a front in front of people so no one ever really knew the suffering she was facing. She was never honest with how she felt but now a death had occurred, it was like all of a sudden she was dealing with his pain and hers at the same time. I think this really changed her.

I thought “if they can go through this, if he can help her overcome her demons, and she can help him through his grief then they can get through anything.”

I was wrong.

After the death of his father, the boyfriend changed. They continued your relationship but it wasn’t long after when he broke up with her with no warning. I couldn’t believe it, he was never the one to be an asshole but after a few years of being in a committed relationship, he just ended things with not even so much as a goodbye. It was as if when his Dad died, something died in him, or awakened in him, that meant he changed completely and the new him no longer fit in the relationship. I remember how shocked she was and how badly she hurt. She took this break up as her once again being abandoned and she didn’t handle it so well in the beginning. We heard through a grapevine that he had broken up with her so that he could meet another girl at a party. After some sleuthing, Ava and I found out what party he was attending and through some master trickery (we convinced Ava’s ex boyfriend to lure the bastard out) we got him to come out into the parking lot, where we asked him very politely why he had ended things with April. At first he tried to lie his way out of it but in the end he told us the truth. In anger, Ava hit him, he coward from her fist, her pent up aggression built and she started hitting him harder and harder repeatedly, we both started screaming at him and he seemed genuinely afraid. When we were done we got into the car and drove off as he stood there, watching us leave, probably processing the situation and wondering whether he should call the police. I’m not proud of what we did but at the time it seemed like the best revenge, I don’t know who we were trying to make feel better, April or us…because even though it was April’s break up, we felt like we were going through the motions and emotions of it too. For some time we’d basically take shifts being on the phone to her, keeping her company, making sure she wasn’t alone and trying to empower her. I say that like it was a chore but it wasn’t, it’s just that it was difficult to deal with as we were still dealing with the other break up. When your friend needs you, then you put their needs first, but the thing is I was also dealing with my own battles, my depression was pretty much my closest companion. The one person I used to tell everything to was no longer able to be my confidant and I felt for a long time like I was alone. So instead of dealing with my issues I pushed it down to priorities April’s. We probably didn’t do her any favours because by always being there we enabled her to wallow in self-pity. We also set a basis of expectation to how every break up was going to be like. But that’s the problem, as good as it is to have your friends there for you, you also need to deal with some things, some aspects, some parts of things yourself, otherwise you’ll never truly know if you are okay.

At her 18th Birthday, I introduced her to another guy, let’s call him Ivan, someone I had met at another party and who had tried to woo, Ava before. With Ava’s blessing, I giddily set them both up and they hit it off instantly! They basically fell in love in that first meeting and he became Ava’s longest relationship to date.

It did cause some issues in our friendship, because April once again transferred her emotions from one guy to another without ever really healing. She never really faced any demons and issues she was carrying and instead believed another relationship would solve everything.

April put her all into this relationship and for a while it did look promising.

She was so intense and it was like he liked that about her. They really did enjoy each other’s company and it was nice to see someone humorous and light hearted with her, for once there was someone who could make her laugh! I thought this would be a good fresh thing for her.

Some things were happening in my life; you know the Grapes story I was telling you about before? Well Grapes was Ivan’s best friend. So whilst this whole Grapes situation, for those who haven’t read it…I highly recommend you to! If you don’t want to, then a quick summary is, Grapes was a guy I dated on and off, and when I finally thought it was completely on, I found out something that was heart breaking and basically gave me some serious trust issues. Go read it go! I’ll wait here for you to get back….

Anyway so whilst that was all happening, I really needed a friend, I thought being my best friend, April would be there for me, but if truth were told, she made a pretty shitty friend at this time. She put her boyfriend first. She told me she didn’t want to get involved because she didn’t want to upset Ivan. I thought “Fuck Ivan, you wouldn’t even be together if it wasn’t for me!”

I had been there for her for pretty much everything. Whatever time of the day, wherever I was, whatever I was doing, I would rush to be by her side. I pushed aside my own problems to try to help her with hers, and now, I was at my most vulnerable, as my trust issues basically blew up and my world was crumbling into this big mess that I was having to deal with a few days before leaving to go to Uni for my first ever semester. My best friend of however many thousand years, my best friend who I had grown up with, planned to grow old with, my already appointed god mother to my kids and maid of honour at my wedding, was basically telling me that she wasn’t going to help me, not because she couldn’t but because she didn’t want to.

And I was like, what the fuck April? Prioritise your life better. In the end it was a pretty hurtful and shitty thing she did but I forgave her because I thought, even though she was a shitty friend, I still needed her and she needed me, and our years of friendship was not going to be wiped out because of one stupid guy and his whore girlfriend.

So even that hurdle we overcame, only because I valued her friendship more than my own pain. I moved forward with our friendship because I loved her, and didn’t want to loose anymore because I had made a terrible mistake with Grapes.

So basically April left for Uni, and she ended up living on her own with no one around her, her course mates were all 40 years old and she had nothing in common with them. She wasn’t having the Uni experience she should have. She ended up drinking a shot of vodka every night to help her sleep, we told her this wasn’t healthy but she insisted it numbed the loneliness and sadness. You know how I told you that she was never facing any real issues and instead chose to transfer emotions from one place to another rather than facing them head on?

I worried so much about her that it meant I couldn’t really enjoy my University experience either. I told her countless times that I would pay for her to come to my University or that I would come to her. Each time she rejected that idea. I told her I would speak to her every day on the phone or on Skype but she would say things like “It’s not the same as being physically here with someone, I’m always on my own.” So one day I told her I would go to my lectures then straight after I would get the train to her flat.

When I finished my lectures, I made my way back to my flat. As I was walking my phone started ringing. It was my sister Mhissy.

“Did you hear about April?” she asked sounding nervous.

“No what!?” I asked getting hysterical.

“She had to be hospitalised, during placement she had a breakdown and her parents are coming to get her.”

I felt sick to my stomach and all I could think of trying to get to you as fast as I could. I cried so much as I figured out the fasted routes and what I could do, my phone was ringing every few minutes with our friends all trying to figure out a plan, in the end we were told we needed to leave her alone and to not overwhelm her.

The next week was the hardest week of my life. I felt like she was in hospital dying and I was constantly scared of hearing anymore bad news. I was inconsolable because I had no idea what condition she was in, if she was being looked after and whether I’d ever be able to see her.

I beat myself up over the fact that I felt like I should have done more, I should have forced her to come and see me, or gone to see her. I felt like the worlds worst friend, all because I had been enjoying my Freshers week/year, and let her feel lonely where she was.

Every night I prayed for her to be safe and for her to get the help she so badly needed. No one ever acknowledged her problem except us, her group of friends. No one ever encouraged her to get help or confront her problems. No one ever gave her the guidance she needed.

I felt like she was the product of neglect and the constant knock backs she was facing was just reinforcing the idea in her head that she wasn’t good enough. She became so dependent on other people’s opinions and approval that she no longer functioned as an individual and though this worried me, I didn’t do enough to encourage her to be stronger for herself.

Life did move on, she got some help, not nearly as much as she needed but it was like everyone but me and her close group of friends thought her condition wasn’t that extreme. Funny…that’s what a lot of people think before a person kills themselves or a bunch of other people. Whilst I didn’t think April was at that level, I did seriously worry about her mental state. My worries went unheard and instead I had to watch as people more ‘qualified’ than me ‘help’ her the way they saw best. What are these people even being paid for?! To hand over pills and write some scribbles for people to read but never do anything about. Try and tell me that a girl is normal if she drinks vodka every night to try to get some peace, tell me it’s normal for a girl to lack confidence so bad that she cannot make decisions for herself. Tell me it’s normal for her to have a breakdown in the middle of a work placement all because she saw something that terrified her, something that you and I probably wouldn’t even think twice about.

What does a person have to do to get help in this world? Do we have to wait for someone to die before we rethink the way we look at mental health? But I digress; we discuss this topic later in another post.

The whole break down thing really affected her relationship with Ivan. He took on basically the role of a carer. Our friendship was also in a fragile state, I think it was more my fault than hers, I was just so afraid, I beat myself up over what had happened that I felt like I no longer had the right to be her friend. I lent her a book, it was actually a story about a girl who committed suicide, well, in hindsight this was probably really stupid and insensitive but she told me she wanted to read it so why not? The thing is this book was really special to me, it was my favourite book and it was signed by the author himself, it was my prized possession, I had won it in a competition, and I had never won a competition before so…double win!

Anyway, it had been a few months and I had asked her if I could have it back. We were planning to meet a few days later so that she could meet my new boyfriend (my partner now) I was so excited to introduce my best friend to my boyfriend, she promised me she would bring the book with her.

The day of the meeting came and she didn’t meet us, she texted us last minute and told us she wasn’t coming anymore. We rescheduled for another day, that day came and again she was a no show. Not only was she a no show but she also didn’t bother calling or texting, she had ignored my calls and didn’t acknowledge me at all. It was like she just couldn’t be bothered.

This made me so angry that years of anger boiled into one short email. I told her in not so many words that I had had enough of being second to her all the time and that she had really let me down by bailing on me over and over again and expecting me to just forget it each time. I told her I no longer wanted anything to do with her and that she had hurt me too many times to even bother salvaging anything.

Maybe that was harsh, I don’t know. But it’s how I felt, and we had spent the majority of our friendship talking about how she felt that I thought it was my turn to tell her what was what. Maybe it was the wrong time? Maybe I could have been nicer or at least worded things differently but I didn’t, I was tired of having to tip toe around her. Countless times she didn’t come through for me when I needed her. So many times I had to push aside any exciting news or even sad news to make way for her problems. I just needed my friend and she couldn’t do that for even a second. I had enough.

She never responded to my message but what I did find was my phone ringing 1000 times and receiving so many texts that my phone crashed, yes phones can crash! There were many numbers I didn’t recognise but 1 I did. The only one I picked up my phone to, Ivan. Him and his group of hooligan friends shouted at me to kill myself and other vile things. Ivan told me that I had never been a good friend to you and that I was a rubbish self-centred friend who couldn’t care less about April. He told me I was nothing and called me every name under the sun.

The thing is, none of his words were factual, he either made them up or April had said them, either way it was the last straw for me. If April had somehow insinuated that I was a bad friend then to hell with her, I put off a lot of things through the duration of my friendship with her. I held myself back at certain times and even let her come before in me in 9/10 situations. Our friendship felt like one big charade. I cried myself to sleep as my phone continued to ring and ring and ring. I couldn’t believe she had these horrible people do that to me all because I told her I had enough. Ivan sat there telling me everything they had been through together when I’m pretty sure he didn’t exist in her world when all those ex boyfriends betrayed and hurt her, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Was he there when she cried night after night? Every fight they got into, he wasn’t hugging, and comforting and reassuring her things would be okay. Our years of friendship was rendered a waste of time because she had done a petty thing and tattled on me to her boyfriend who thought I was afraid of him, in reality he was scared of me, you should know never to mess with a crazy chick.

Again fast forward to a year or so and Ivan was long gone. They had gone through a turbulent relationship where her mental state had gotten so bad it affected every aspect of his and her life. We had slowly been rebuilding our friendship but I no longer had anything to do with Ivan. When he too abandoned her I tried to be with her as much as I could. This time I was brutally honest and guided her as best I could through the difficulties of her break up. I told her when she was being dramatic, petty or if she just needed to be quiet. I was harsher because I had less patience but also because I knew whatever I said, she would do whatever she wanted anyway.

Eventually she took time out for herself and was starting to find her old self again, but just as quick as it started she began replacing old emotions with new boys and the cycle was starting up again. Our group of friends and I all insisted she needed to rediscover self-love before trying to find someone else but she didn’t listen to us. She insisted on being able to carry out flings and having friends with benefits without getting emotionally involved. She couldn’t, I told her that. Every guy she met she fell in love with, she grew obsessed, it wasn’t healthy, but part of me was thankful she was no longer wallowing about Ivan who was not even worth her time. April is so beautiful, I could never understand why she always aimed low, and I don’t mean that in the shallow way, because I am a firm believer of personality over beauty. But no offence but her choice in men was neither good looking nor were they clever or had good personalities. It was like none of that mattered and her only criteria were men, just men, living breathing men. Again why? She was intelligent, beautiful, had a hot body, and had a lot to offer anyone lucky enough to have her. The problem was and is, many men don’t want to be a carer for someone. You can’t just jump into a relationship and expect someone to handle all you’re shit; you can’t be so intense either. As with everything, you need to take your time, don’t share everything straight away, you have to take your time and allow things to grow organically. It was like she was do desperate to not be alone that she would take whoever was coming, never taking notice of the fact that she still had so much to overcome before even considering having someone else in her life. None of this mattered to her, nothing we said ever made any difference and she did whatever she wanted.

As for me, I was still battling my demons. But I was trying to be as pro-active as I could be, I started writing frequently on this blog. I took inspiration from my everyday life, I would write down titles in a list and come back to them later if I had an idea for a full blog post. After talking to April I came up with an idea for a blog post about closure, I thought I was innocently taking a conversation we had had and was using it as inspiration. I never wrote anything that would easily identify her as the subject, in fact the blog was barely anything to do with her and only really briefly mentioned our conversation. I felt quite proud of it because I thought I touched on a difficult subject with a little bit of light humour. I was slowly gaining the confidence to share my experiences, opinions and thoughts with the Internet! A few days after my post, April sent me a message on Facebook, the whole conversation is too long to explain but long and short of it we got into an argument about how she believed I was directing the entire blog post about her, I insisted I didn’t and that even if I did, I was trying to be empowering. I told her how I never wrote with malicious intent and that that went against everything I ever stood for. She told me she had a right to have an opinion and I told her I had the right to say what I wanted.

To me I had done nothing wrong, I had not included anything personal, I didn’t include anything that she could be identified through, I didn’t detail our conversation. I apologised if she had misinterpreted it but that I had never forced her to read it. I told her I would never write about her (well I lied because I’ve basically written 4 more). After that I decided to end our friendship finally. Once again she made an enemy out of me instead of doing the decent thing and confronting me personally or at least calling me. Instead she sent me a message on Facebook, what were we? 14 years old being petty little bitches. We’d been friends for 11 years and I obviously hadn’t earned the respect I thought I deserved and had always displayed to her. She once again picked up at a mistake or what she perceived to be a mistake I had made. Once again it was my fault and I was wrong and she was right. Once again nothing I had ever done right was worth anything because my crime was far more heinous than any of my good deeds was worth.

Once again she made me feel like less than nothing when in our entire friendship I tried to make her feel as loved, safe and cared for as I could.

I’m not a perfect friend but I always thought that out of all of my friends, it was with her I tried the hardest with. You know in our entire friendship, I received a birthday card from her a grand total of 3 times. I never used to care but after this argument all of those little things attached to all the monumentally big bad things she had done to create this transformer of a shit storm that ended with me silently but confidently closing the book to our friendship. I felt like my silence was powerful enough to make it clear I was done arguing and no longer saw her as being worth my time.

After every argument I would go back to her and apologise, I pushed aside my pride to be her friend again, I hurt myself for her. I felt like I was in a bad relationship of 11 years and April was this boyfriend who never appreciated or cared about me. I was done being her dancing monkey and wanted to stop caring.

I do care about her, I will always love her but I no longer like her.

I can no longer be her life raft because in doing so I’m drowning myself.

Is that harsh? Probably, but I’m okay with that. Whether or not I’m her friend, she’ll be okay. She never learns and my friendship never did her any good anyway. She never listened to me and she lives her life how she wants to, she’s made it to 23 years so she must be doing something right.

As for me? I can no longer watch her destroy herself. I can’t watch her do unhealthy and hurtful things and be constantly surprised when it blows up in her face. I don’t want to hear anymore about the next guy she has fallen in love with. She isn’t helping herself and I no longer want to enable her.

I am sad that our friendship is over but what can I do? I’m doing her an injustice but letting her continue the way she is living but at the same time I cannot convince her to change her ways and get help. I just cannot be connected to someone who allows himself or herself to play a victim each and every time then complains when nothing changes. I cannot sit and watch, as she makes no attempt at bettering her life, or making any changes. I mean if it were me and life was that bad then I would just take risks all the time and change everything, because surely the new can’t be worse than the now?

It’s been a few months now and I’ve grown to accept this major change in my life. The sense of loss has faded slightly and I no longer feel the constant need to text her and change my mind. I’ve also stopped saving pictures to send her. I don’t know, there’s still a part of me that hopes that in 10 years time she’ll have got her act together and realised that she deserves to be happy and the only way for that to happen is for her to get help and change the way she acts and reacts to things. Maybe she’ll be married with kids by then. Maybe one day we can talk again, even have that glass of homemade lemonade as our kids run around together in the garden.

For now though I just want to do my own thing, be my own person and heal myself from past hurts, I want the next time we talk again for me to forget the hurtful things she’s said, I want to genuinely forgive her instead of forgiving her out of pity. We’ll see if we ever get there but I won’t hold my breath.

It’s okay to end a friendship if the friendship is toxic and unhealthy for either of the parties. If you find yourself more often than not trying to salvage your friendship then you seriously need to consider what you’re fighting for and whether it’s even worth saving.

Once you make your decision the one thing you should never do is second guess it and look back. Face the front, move forward and make your life better for you.

If you’ve made it this far then you’re obviously having a tough time with your friend. I feel for you because I know what it feels like to loose someone so important to you, it’s almost like loosing a limb or part of your heart, but trust me it gets easier. If you choose to let go, or you keep hanging on, then know that you’ve made the best decision for you. Trust yourself to know what is going to help you feel happier. If you let go then good for you for being so brave. As time goes by you’ll find new friends who will make you feel happy and help you laugh out loud again, you may find another soul mate you will help you re-discover all the fun in having someone be so close without being romantically involved. Hopefully that friendship will be equal and you’ll both be able support eachother through the bad times, it’s those people you’ll want to celebrate with when the good times come too. If you chose to hang on then I pray that you’ll be happy in your life and in your friendship, I hope things resolves itself and that you continue to grow and strengthen as individuals and as friends, it is rare for friendship to stand the test of time but when it does, gosh, it’s so beautiful that you remain close to those you shared many years worth of memories with.

And most importantly,

Don’t forget…

Do something to make your parents proud today, your kids proud someday, and you proud everyday!

Peace and Love,

Jessy x

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