Words are pretty remarkable things. The power within one word is unimaginable, strung up together to form one sentence can make or break a situation, and yet people throw words around like they’re nothing but a filler for the day. The thing with words is once you say them out loud you cannot take it back. So it makes me wonder why people are not more careful with what they say, even if they’re thinking out loud.
The phrase I love you is so foolishly passed around to describe any emotion stronger than like, sometimes it’s even used in place of like. Over time it’s gotten harder to believe, even less special.
Now I have no right to question or tell you who to say those words to or even who you actually love and not just strongly like. I have no way to gauge how different this relationship (I’m so cynical about love that my autocorrect genuinely changed “relationship” to “relationshit” well done Jessy, even your phone is a relationship hater!)
I’ve suffered from being in a relationship where the words “I’m Sorry” were thrown around much more than actions proving them. It’s easy to get used to hearing someone say that, even easier to stop believing in the words, as well as the person.
The thing is when you say something enough you begin to believe it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re true. Believing you’re sorry doesn’t mean you know what you did wrong or what you’re sorry for. Believing you love someone doesn’t automatically give you the emotion or the feeling towards that person that makes you fall in love with him or her.
It’s tough because words are so carelessly thrown that so many special words and sayings loose their meaning.
There was a time when love of my life was one of the best things you could call someone, but people’s actions have so wrongfully tainted it all because they think calling every person they are in a relationship by this title thinking it will always have the same effect. Tell me, why don’t people wait anymore?
When I was younger I would always claim I had fallen in love but it wasn’t until I had my heart broken did I really find out the true meaning of love. Now I’m with my partner, the only real and healthy relationship I’ve been in can I say that those feelings of ‘love’ were nothing more than a crush that I so badly wanted to believe was love. All because I was in such a rush.
Words are strange because they are so powerful and yet there is nothing truly physical you can grasp at. Someone can say they love you but short of forcing them to write it down, there’s no other way of getting them to remember it. If you have to force someone then why would you want it?
Sometimes when I’m feeling extra cynical I remind myself that at the end of the day words are just words. It’s hard to tell the difference between a lie and the truth of someone’s words.
I think that drives me crazy, the thought that people can say things without thinking of the true meaning or consequence. It’s fine though because rarely do the speakers have to deal with the consequence.
‘I Promise’ is another phrase that gets thrown around, that added with the promise of something can often lead to pain and suffering if it’s not followed through.
My first ‘real’ boyfriend told me that words and promises were made to be broken. For a while I believed him, in fact I let that very sentence affect my outlook on relationships and men. My partner now suffered from my attitude towards relationships because I told him every night for the first year we were together that if he was going to leave then he should just leave and would often remind him that he knew were the door was and he was welcome to use it. It was my defense mechanism in order to prevent me from getting hurt. I didn’t realize how self destructive I was being and I’m so lucky and grateful that my partner saw through my bullshit and wanted so badly to undo what that ex boyfriend had done to me.
But that’s the problem, that ex boyfriend never saw the effect of his words to me, he didn’t see how the idea that all these promises were being broken which meant nothing was sacred and there were no guarantees not even the comfort of a promise, tormented me un-relentlessly.
The thing is people may not necessarily need you to keep your promise, but people definitely want you to have the intention to keep them. No one should go into anything, romantic or whatnot, thinking negatively, that means when you make a promise, or say something you should mean it. Life is funny and tough and that means you may not necessarily be able to follow through, but if you were a human with a heart who knows what it is like to hurt then you should do your duty to try and see things through.
The more let down we are by people the less we believe, and the less we believe, the more likely we are to become cynical and reciprocate all those bad emotions, negativity and carelessness to those who do not deserve it, it’s a vicious circle.
I guess I’m just a girl sitting in front of her computer asking for people to be careful of the words you say to others. You just don’t need that kind of karma on your shoulders.
Moral of the story is, if you don’t mean it, don’t say it, but if you must say it then be prepared for what may result. Be aware of the consequences your words may have, know the weight of what you’re saying and be prepared to act accordingly, don’t say things if you know you can’t deliver on them, be careful with what you say you never know who is going to believe you.
Do something to make your parents proud today, your kids proud someday, and you proud everyday!
Peace and Love,