Why Wednesdays: Why it’s okay to want to be ‘just a housewife’. Part 1.

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In this day and age, it’s deemed a norm for women to continue to work as well as run a household. There’s a common argument that women cannot have it all, work and a family life. I’ve seen it happen, women having to sacrifice a career in order to start a family or the other way around.

It shouldn’t be the case.

It’s standard for women to have it all, modern families are more common than the standard nuclear family now.

In fact more often than not, a lot of people assure women that it’s okay to want to work for their family rather than taking on the role of the housewife (and I’m not saying a housewife with just a male and female, it can apply to female and female relationships – we aren’t covering homosexual relationships here, but I’m sure at some point we’ll talk about that too).

Something that we seem to be lacking right now, is the assurance that whilst it’s more than okay for women to continue working and pursue careers whilst having a family, it’s just as okay for women to choose for their direction to head down the path of being a homemaker and housewife.

It’s okay to want to be ‘just a housewife’…

Because you know what? Being a housewife means a whole lot more than people can actually imagine. It’s a job on it’s own and is just as vital as being the breadwinner or bringing in money to your family.

Being a housewife means you’re the chef, the doctor, the psychiatrist, the negotiator, the banker, the teacher and so many other roles that people don’t even think about. Housewives pick up on every detail and remember things that others may forget. Being a housewife involves being more than just what people see at face value and not always getting the recognition they deserve. Being a housewife isn’t 9 – 5 it’s 24/7 and you’re not paid in money but you are paid in something far more valuable, in love, affection and the satisfaction of knowing your family is being looked after.

I’ve come from a family where women were always the homemakers, as I got older, this has somewhat changed. My Mum used to be a fulltime Mum, who dedicated her days to ensuring her family were well looked after and fed. As we got older, we became less reliant (but this didn’t mean we needed her less) and whilst she was still busy running the household, my Mum felt the need to branch out and pursue some new challenges for herself, so she got a job. Many of my relatives in the Philippines, aunties and cousins have ended up working abroad to earn money for their family, and the unfortunate truth is it’s often easier for women to work abroad than men, at least for third world countries, does this apply for other countries?

I grew up feeling like being a full time housewife and homemaker was an ideal career move. I don’t judge women who seek alternative childcare methods because some don’t have any other choice than to hire help, or to put them into nursery’s etc. But for me, I’d like the opportunity to be around my children as much as I can before they grow to resent me…I mean that as a joke, but not really. I look forward to being able to redecorate the house full time, to have dinner cooked for my husband or wife and to be able to just feel like my home is my temple that I can look after. That’s just me.

As I got older and grew to enjoy working, particularly in employment that I felt interested and dedicated to, I didn’t like the idea of having to give up work once I have kids.

I’m very fortunate that my partner has said he is happy for me to be a housewife and or career woman and whatever I decide, we’ll make it work for us and our family.

So at least I have two options right?

It’s okay to want to be ‘just a housewife’ because a career outside of the home isn’t for everyone. I strongly believe some people were born to be homemaker’s; they’re the ones whose passion belongs inside their home, they want to make a beautiful life that revolves around their family. That’s okay! No one has the right to say that you can’t follow by what you want to do with your life.

I feel like now, there’s more stigma if a woman chooses to be a stay at home Mum than if she goes back into employment when this shouldn’t be something people criticize people for.

You wouldn’t judge someone for choosing to work in a shop, in a bank or even be self employed, so why would it be okay to judge someone for wanting to be a stay at home parent?

The jobs involved in being a homemaker is quite grueling, ensuring that the house is clean, meals are cooked, the children are looked after. Someone has to do those jobs, and whilst some people choose to pay others for those services, others may want to do it for themselves.

There’s a common misconception that being a homemaker isn’t reaching your true potential, but it’s not. Some people were born to be the secret superhero of the family. I am thankful my Mother made time to do mine and my sister’s hair every morning before school, that she was always there to walk us to the bus, and to help us with our homework.

Our paths are all headed in different directions and we flourish and grow in different circumstances. Where you may thrive in a fast paced environment and live for your work promotion, others may enjoy shopping for daily bargains, and loves the fight with getting the kids ready for school.

Our highs and lows come from different places, and we should celebrate the selfless achievements and hard work of those who dedicate their days for their families.

Whilst there are people who choose to remain at home, and others who choose to go to work, there are others who choose both, and why not? If you’re able to then maybe it’s good to have a balance.

It’s okay to want to ‘just be a housewife’ because it’s a role that’s just as crucial to a family as a breadwinner, and is just as important to helping run a household. Being a housewife back in the day was a much-coveted role, and today housewives are unsung heroes.

Wanting to be ‘just a housewife’ is okay, because it is and you don’t need to justify it to anyone, because being just a housewife, means and involves a lot more than just being a housewife.

Do something to make your parents proud today, your kids proud someday, and you proud everyday!

Peace and Love,

Jessy x

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