We all know a hoe, fuck boy, tease, slut, two timer, cheater and all the other kinds of names you can think of. We all know someone incapable of committing to a relationship or someone who is a serial dater. We know the type of bad people to avoid in relationships and what kinds of warning signs our significant other have to look out for in order to help us know when to quit an unhealthy relationship. But something that is not often considered is good girls and guys being bad.
You see I used to consider myself a bad girl, and so whenever I dated and hurt someone, I figured, well you knew that about me so it’s your own fault. I can see now how wrong that is. When I became what I considered a ‘good girl’ I thought my actions were pure and good, I never thought that I could do anything to hurt anyone because I never actively went to hurt anyone. So if I upset someone, I didn’t see what I would have done to upset him or her as bad because it wasn’t my intention.
The whole thinking process I went through as a team is so fucked up, I know!
Something I’ve learned through my years of dating is that just because you’re a good girl doesn’t mean you can’t hurt a good guy and just because you’re a bad girl doesn’t mean you can’t do anything good (obviously the whole idea can be applied to guys too).
It’s quite a confusing situation because sometimes good and bad can be a really fine line to walk between. Like if you’re a nice person and date someone you don’t like because you don’t want to hurt their feelings doesn’t that make you bad? Then there are people who identify as being ‘bad’ that will treat their significant other like they’re the most important person on earth, does that make them good?
Ultimately what I’m saying is that just because you’re a good girl doesn’t mean you can’t hurt a good guy. So no matter how you identify you need to be careful when it comes to your treatment of others. If someone think’s you’re important enough to have their heart and you accept it, then you need to consider that very important job.
Love in it’s infinite wisdom can make us hurt and make us happy beyond belief, whatever we experience we’re bound to learn something and I think it’s just up to us to decide what we take from every situation. Being aware that no matter whether we are good or bad we’re all human and are capable of being hurt and causing pain will be a huge move forward in creating an environment where people can feel free to love without being so afraid of being hurt.
I think nowadays love, dating and relationships have become such a huge game that good people looking for real love have become hidden and frightened to take risks. There are so many dangers to look out for and so many things to be aware of. Having been out of the dating ‘game’ for almost 5 years I can see from single friends that it’s just a whole ‘nother world now and it all seems so daunting. That’s why if people had a healthy and genuine intention towards dating, it makes the whole journey to love a little less frightening.
In a world where there are so many people simply looking for someone to love and to love them, we need a lot less name calling, labeling and replace it instead with positivity, openness, and acceptance.
Just because in the past you’ve been one thing does not mean you can’t change it in order to find a better and happier future.
Just remember you get from love what you put into it.
Who you were before does not make you who you are today and no label can tell you how to act, nor’ can it limit it to what you can do.
Good girls can hurt good guys and bad girls can love bad guys, they’re just labels and in reality does not actually give you your worth.
So it’s up to you, to decide what you want from love and what you’re willing to put out into this world. Don’t be afraid to love, because the biggest tragedy in this world is to have never felt or given love.
Do something to make your parents proud today, your kids proud someday but most importantly, you proud every day!
Peace and Love